Feel It!!

Apparently I’m in the minority, or the day would be banned, but I HATE Halloween! WTF is the point???

As a kid I hated it. We lived in the country, and could visit 5 houses in an evening, and all we’d come home with was apples, peanuts in the shell, and tootsie pop! While my cousin who lived in town would get a pillow case FULL.

As a teenager I hated it. I was tall (still am), and skinny (not so much), and all legs, so dressy up as a skanky nurse, skanky french maid, or some other such floosie did not “work”, and dressing up as clown or hobo certainly didn’t light a spark with many of the guys.

As a parent I hated it. Trying to come up with a costume for your kids every year. Not only a costume which wasn’t made of plastic and looks like a garbage bag, but one that fits over a snowsuit! I don’t sew, so I always had to be particularily inventive, which is why one year Sarah was a tube of Crest Toothpaste, another year she was a bag of jelly beans, and another year a can of soup, followed by road kill. The year of the soup can was notable. The costume looked GREAT!!! But……..when she went out to go trick or treating, she couldn’t get up the steps of the houses in it! I quit after that…. she was on her own.

As a parent of teenagers I hated it! Doorbell ringing every 3 minutes, rude kids at the door, 42 year olds wearing lipstick expecting candy, our old dog barking her fool head off EVERY time the door bell rang, the fact that even though you’re standing right in the door, they feel compelled to ring your bell and SCREECH, “Halloween Apples!” WTF is up with that with you city people?? What sense does that make?? You are supposed to say, “Trick or Treat!” Geesh I also vaguely recall a stunt that my then 14 year old son pulled requiring a visit to court…. nuff said

As an emptynester, I hate it! Why do I want to participate now? I am not supposed to “have to” now…. my kids are gone, I’m not trying to “impress anyone”, I don’t decorate, I’m not having Jack on my doorstep, nor the spooky music. I don’t like arm wrestling hubby over who has to get up off the couch to answer the door, and last year we just put a bowl out there, and the little bastards stole the candy, the bowl, AND the little witch sitting in it!

As an education assistant in a special needs school…… I LOVE it! The excitement for the little kids is awesome! They’re so cute in their costumes, everything is filled with wonderment and awe! We don’t have to go trudging around in the snow, we walk around the halls to gather treats. I don’t have to think of a costume, because I wear the same thing every year. My Jack O’Lantern scrub pants, my Old Navy t-shirt with the pumpkins on it, my pumpkin socks, my ghost pin, my witch earrings and my Crocs. I’m comfortable!! I can go to work in my PJ’s! When the parents and kids ask what I’m dressed up as, I can answer them very honestly! “I’m a BOO Humbughead!”