Marriage
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable,
or
Get married and wish you were dead. ***
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
“Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”
***
A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Husband Wanted”.
Next day she received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”
***
When a woman steals your husband, There is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
***
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
***
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
***
Young son: “Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”
Dad: “That happens in every country, son.”
***
Then there was a woman who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, And then, it was too late.”
***
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
***
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
***
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, Men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
***
First guy: “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
***
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
***
AND THE BEST ONE OF ALL…
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the blind man’s stick as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
“Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.”
The blind man replies, “If you would’ve put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.”
How encouraging LOL! But I have to say I will NOT be showing these jokes to my boyfriend. I’m having a hard enough time getting my ring out of him as it is. LOL.
yea, the last is the best one… wahaha!
Ha ha, so true!
Young son: “Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”
Dad: “That happens in every country, son.”
That’s my favorite. Hilarious, and so true!
LOL!!!!!!!!! Those are too perfect!
Two Married men in a bar, M1:”Did you go through with the divorce and marry that cute secretary?”,M2:”Nah, who needs two nagging mothers-in-law?”
***
Two men in a bar, M1:”Oh look two married women sitting alone, lets go and chat?”, M2: Nah, they both look like my ex.”